Remembering our Dead - Transgender day of Remembrance

Life's been hectic. But that's what life is. I love to write, I love to draw, I love to debate, make websites, share my ideas.. But half the time, I'm so busy pushing through the mediocrity that life shoves my way, working a job trying to earn enough money to pay the bills, buy my medication, eat, wondering how to afford surgeries, if I can get my hormones this month.... And then, once in awhile, something comes along that makes me look away from my own problems, and makes me think "You know, I really don't have that much to bitch about, all in all. MOST of us don't have anything to bitch about. We're still alive. No one's found our beaten, brutalized, crumpled forms in a ditch alongside the freeway. I can make it through this.. While quite a few out there did not."

So I ask those who think their life is SO damned hard, those that think they're drowning at the bottom of the shit-barrel.. To look outside your life, take a look at what happens each and every day, all around the world. Look at that, and try to tell me, and yourself, without flat out lying, that your life really IS that bad. I know mine sure as hell isn't.

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The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the "Remembering Our Dead" web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester's murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved.

Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgendered — that is, as a transsexual, crossdresser, or otherwise gender-variant — each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgendered people.

We live in times more sensitive than ever to hatred based violence, especially since the events of September 11th. Yet even now, the deaths of those based on anti-transgender hatred or prejudice are largely ignored. Over the last decade, more than one person per month has died due to transgender-based hate or prejudice, regardless of any other factors in their lives. This trend shows no sign of abating.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgendered people, an action that current media doesn't perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of our brothers and sisters who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance reminds non-transgendered people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers. Day of Remembrance gives our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who've died by anti-transgender violence.



Day Of Remembrance
S. Bear Bergman

I'm scrolling and scrolling,
names on my screen keep rolling,
more than I expected to see, hundreds,
too many to count quickly, too many to die so early,
one day before they would have is too early, outrageous,
sentenced to death for being courageous,
living out loud in an age such as this, where every border's guarded
and marked with gendered piss, this
here is only for us, only for you, what is it mommy?
not now honey, that's rude — why is it rude? that's a bad attitude,
that's what you'll do? Parents, that's unworthy of you,
if something's unusual, let children know what's different,
buy him a tutu - let that be the end of it, let them grow
unencumbered by expectation, there's all kinds of situations,
gender, race, ethnic variations, none of them cut or dried,
no lie,
cause otherwise, we get "boys don't cry",
we tell our boys not to cry, they swallow the tears, the fears,
they erode every other feeling until it explodes,
looking like Gwen in a shallow grave by the road,
like Marsha being fished out whole,
looking like Brandon full of anger's holes. We won't accept this,
the idea is ludicrous, you want to kill a kid
because he wants to wear a dress?
Ridiculous.
We will not go gently, not into any night or memory,
we're here today remember our family, taken too early,
I hope they come back to haunt their killers fully,
inhabit their uncertainty, give them their own inescapable
enemy, and for those of us still alive, stand up!
stand up and shout,
stand up and be what it's about,
be the change you want to see in the world,
live like a flag unfurled,
be heard,
today we are here to remember, today we are peaceful
in honor, today we are heard together,
but tomorrow this event's a lesson to miscreants, anyone with ill intent,
our spirit unbreakable, a lot at stake,
our numbers unmistakable, proclaiming,
I'm here with my tribe,
this family's my wealth,
and I would die with them
before I would live by myself.

Who is being honored by the Transgender Day of Remembrance?

Over the past year, over 30 transgender people have lost their lives due to hate crimes, but this is unfortunately just the tip of the iceberg of people killed worldwide due to bias and hatred based on gender identity and expression. Most of the victims were people of color who came from working class backgrounds. Among the fallen are transgender and gender non-conforming youth of color whose lives were cut short unnecessarily.

Gwen Araujo, 17, (Newark, California) chose the name, Gwen, after her favorite star, Gwen Stefani, from the group No Doubt. Before her untimely death, her skirt was lifted up for people to see that she was born biologically male before she was beaten and buried in a shallow grave.

Alina Marie Barragan, 19, (San Jose, California) was strangled to death and her body was stuffed in the trunk of a car after a man named Kozi Santino Scott became enraged after discovering that Alina Marie, who he originally thought was a woman, was biologically male.

Sakia Gunn, 15, (Newark, New Jersey) was a gender non-conforming lesbian who was targeted because of her gender presentation. Sakia Gunn was not like most girls in her neighborhood. She refused to wear pink even as a young child. Her mother laughs when asked if Sakia played with dolls. When they were given to her as toys, she immediately cut off their hair, she says. For as long as anyone can remember, Sakia preferred baggy jeans and a T-shirt over dresses and skirts. On a hot night in June, Sakia and her friends were returning from the Chelsea Piers in downtown Manhattan, a hangout for mostly queer youth of color, to Newark, New Jersey. When Sakia and her friends, refused the advances of a couple of men, Sakia was subsequently stabbed and passed away on the way to the hospital.

Nireah Johnson, 17, (Indianapolis, Indiana) was murdered by a man who became enraged when he discovered that Nireah, the young woman he was attracted to, was transgender. Nireah and a friend, 18-year-old Brandie Coleman, were shot in the head while sitting in a SUV.

Freddie Martinez, 16, (Cortez, Colorado) was a very striking Navajo teen who presented as female and was often harassed at school. Freddie was murdered in Cortez, Colorado.

Nikki Nicholas, 19, (Detroit, Michigan) was an African-American transwoman making her living as a performer in clubs where she often danced and lip-synched to Beyonce songs. The youngster preferred playing with Barbie dolls rather than G.I. Joes, Nicholas' mother said, and by age 11 began experimenting with girls' clothing and makeup. Her body was discovered during a routine property check of an abandoned farmhouse.

Stephanie Thomas, 19, and Ukea Davis, 18, (Washington, DC) were friends found shot to death together. They were a part of SMYL (Sexual Minority Youth Liaison) and were often teased for being feminine. Stephanie started wearing dresses and makeup at the age of 14. Her mother commented that "on the school bus kids tormented her, so she would get off and walk a couple miles to the school." Through a transgender health group, Stephanie met Ukea Davis, another transgender woman. They supported one another, especially when classmates--and even teachers--harassed them about their gender identity.

Sadly, these numbers are continuing to grow. With TV shows like Jerry Springer, gender identity is trivialized as transgender and gender non-conforming people are brought on the show and bashed verbally and sometimes physically. When people watch shows like this or when we reduce people's experiences to phrases like "he was dressed as a woman," we trivialize gender and people's identities.

For Gwen, Stephanie, Nikki, and other transgender teenagers, public school is usually not a safe place for them to express their gender. In addition, if they come from school districts that are underfunded, there will not be any funds to have teacher trainings and programs that address diversity, especially gender identity. Very few states have laws that protect transgender and gender non-conforming students' rights.

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So, for all those souls that were taken before their time, in some of the most brutal ways imaginable, by people who just COULD NOT stand to see someone who didn't fit THEIR grand idea of the gender norm.. Take a minute, and think of something outside of your own box. The least these people deserve is a moment of silence, and there aren't many people I can honestly say I feel deserve even that.

-D.J.